A scream a day?

I dont remember the last time I screamed-- an honest- to- goodness, from-the-stomach, face-turning-red scream, that left me weak and emptied of the anger, frustration or unhappiness within. Maybe when I was five? And lost some game.....or got scolded. But after that? Oh make no mistake-- it wasnt because I never felt upset after age five!

There are so many subtle restrictions placed on girls--this is not to be done, that just isnt done, what will others say-- and all by the well-meaning elders in the family. I get it. We all want our daughters to grow up well, to 'fit' everywhere they go, and so, while encouraging them to be individuals and winners, we also hammer a cover on feelings that are generally frowned upon. I have been no exception-Im sorry, sweetheart, for all the times Ive raised a warning finger and suppressed your 'outbursts'.

Many years ago, a 7 yr old girl said she wanted to dig a little pit for herself and sit in it. Sounded rather cute then but obviously there was something stressful going on in that young mind. And she had already learnt to hide her anger... no temper tantrums. In fact, I dont think any of us has the ability to scream any longer. Specially not alone. I wonder what I would do if I encountered something scary, scream-worthy....maybe just hush up; I find it hard even to imagine myself screaming. 

I am generally happy and do not think about shouting and screaming all the time. But every once in a while I realise how many rights I have lost during all these years of womanhood. 'Small' things that have 'girl' or 'woman' stamped on them, and that slowly drag us down giving us those stiff hard knots in our necks or stomachs or hearts. 

Why is it that we have any number of laughter clubs but no screaming club? Maybe men need to induce laughter; we women manage to laugh for myriad reasons, its the screaming we need. I have nothing against the laughter clubs. Every morning I see a lot of people laughing away under the green trees in the park and most of the times it brings a grin to my face. It is only when I remember the words of a regular there- an old lady living with her children- that I feel a screaming club would benefit her more. She told me once that that was the only time in the whole day she got to open her mouth.

And at least on that first day of the Screaming Club, we would have to gather on the outskirts of the town. Otherwise our screams would burn up the leaves, shrivel the buds and sear the trunks of the stately trees. They would pierce the ear-drums of the men walking around in their branded track-suits and maybe a few birds would fall down mid-flight. 

But what liberation! A scream a day-- to keep the doctor away.