Just yesterday when my husband came back home in the evening, a number of children were playing outside our house. Not one of them thought of opening the gate for him. He was balancing some packages on the bike and waited for me to come out and throw open the gate. A few years back this wouldn’t have happened- two or three or all the children would have run to open the gate, racquets in hand and ‘namastey uncle’ accompanying the big grins on their faces.

So why this change? These are nice, normal children who balance their studies and play and tv. It may sound strange but I’m convinced that the way language is used nowadays is responsible for the deterioration in the respect and regard for older people which was so evident, at least in small towns, till recently.

Top on my list of wrongly used words and phrases is ‘I and my friend’. That people all over the world have accepted this usage pains me. I do not believe I am saying anything far-fetched. How do we expect our children to be considerate or respectful when we do not teach them to put their ego on hold? I remember one English teacher during my school days always exhorting us to ‘put the donkey last’. We did it. We put ‘I’ behind all the rest. Now I realize how many things that one little rule achieved. It taught us good language, good manners and the fact that one really doesn’t need to be self-centered!

With each reality show, the standard of ‘awesome’ seems to fall more and more. I always thought the usage of this word was limited to two or three times in a lifetime. But now every so-called singer, every mediocre novel, every barely satisfactory meal is ‘awsum’. What’s wrong with saying ‘Can do better’ or ‘Better luck next time’? Why put young people on a pedestal that will definitely crumble, and soon? Surely adults realize that the false ‘awesome’ will never let the recipient develop her potential? Why have we started feeling that our youth are so namby-pamby that they can’t deal with setbacks or failure? I’ve seen girls who were scolded for not studying enough develop into great professionals and mothers. Would they have done that if their lives had been peppered(I use the word purposely) with ‘awsum’s? I wonder.

I have always been allergic to words like ‘sacrifice’ and ‘vocation’ because they are used lightly and too often. People who do the former and live the latter shouldn’t feel the need to talk about it. One doesn’t talk of sacrifice in the context of TV and pizza! Nowadays I realize how much responsibility lies on the shoulders of our generation. We need to choose our words very carefully so that our youngsters know everything doesn’t begin and end with them. Yes, the language that is used today is upsetting.

Last year a little fellow, all of seven, came to me with some grammar problems. He opened his bag and said, “Oh shit! I don’t have my book”. Dropped his pencil and picked it up with a ‘Shitt!’ Startled, I told him tersely that he was not to use that word since shit belonged in the toilet. He looked surprised and unconvinced but mumbled ‘ok’ and we proceeded with the lesson. When he was packing up he almost said the word again. Exasperated, I said, “ Where did you pick up this word?” and was dumbstruck to hear that his class-teacher used it often. Next day he was careful not to use the word. But soon, with a thoughtful frown, he ventured to say, “I think there must be two kinds of shit. One that you told me about yesterday. And the other one that my teacher says all the time.” Oh teacher!