Failure is vastly under-rated. It is probably the most important of all the lessons we should teach our children. Unfortunately it is the rare parent who takes the child's 'failure' casually or normally. So our kids grow up thinking they have to shine, no matter what.
In my day to day life I face so many failures. Each day when I get up I make a mental list of things I've got to do. And invariably each night there are a few things left over. There was a time when this used to trouble me a lot. I would lie awake wondering why I hadn't had the will power to do that one last thing on my list….. Now I've realized that guilt, that sick feeling was because I never really prioritized things. And like most women, agonized over one or two undone things rather than feeling great about the ten things I'd achieved.
It's not for nothing that one comes across sayings like 'failure is the stepping stone to success' when growing up. But it's true that one never takes it seriously. Right from the Bournvita kid who wins the race and pumps his elbow with a 'yes!' to the 96% student who is idolized, only 'achievers' are the favourites today. What happened to the bright but easy going tribe of students who were well read, creative, thinking young individuals? Well, some of them are trying to keep afloat in a sea of 'packages' all marked with someone else's names and some , unfortunately, have given up.
It's very necessary that children should grow up with the realization that living a life fully doesn't mean only great marks and golden stars and an all A+ report card. The priority is to live well, sensibly and happily, with concern and consideration for self and the people around us; and for this to happen, one has to face failures, too. If a spider can go on making a web time and again, can't we, the evolved species, pick up the pieces and put them together again and again?
If I had my way, I would abolish all exams till class V, not grade any student, and make only one thing compulsory – reading books. But I would definitely not do away with the Board exams. Why not teach kids not to attach too much importance to marks rather than remove the exam itself? Handling that pressure is important. One's daily life is filled with tensions – learning to handle tension is important, and not doing away with the tension itself. How many tense situations can I remove from my child's life? Facing problems makes one stronger and isn't it a fact that the mighty survive the onslaughts of life while the weak ones perish unknown?
Am human, will fail. Am human, will learn from it. Let's keep it simple.
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